coriander in pho

here be (sleeping) dragons

A morning call with a scammer

I started my day today with a phone call from a scammer.

The good news is that I had my coffee, so I was not really bothered by it—plus, I was already aware that the person on the other side was a scammer. The bad news is that it was a morning call by a scammer. Really? What happened with receiving legitimate news of a multi-billion inheritance so I could just retire and spend my life enjoying the world’s luxuries, such as traveling around the world with Emirates Airlines’ A380 first class and Orient Express?

The number was unknown, as expected, and I thought it was a cold call from TV cable companies offering their Internet or streaming service or ISPs — and in a mildly amusing irony, perhaps I would respond better had those were true — so I picked it up and greeted them. “Hello?”

It was a man’s voice, introducing himself as whatever-it-is and whoever-it-is, and they said: “I’m from Communications Ministry.”

Gotcha.

I let out a really exasperated and disappointed sigh. Loud enough for the person on the other side of the line to pick it up. Damn these scammers. 8 AM? Really?

“UGHHHHH… Hm. Okay. What is it?”

“I’m calling you because we received public complaints about your phone number.”

“I see. What are the complaints?”

“Uhhh…–”

Ha. You even need time to come up with a legit “complaint”?

“Well?”

“– Uhhh, the complaint was this phone number has been sending out spammy links.”

“Huh. I see. And why do Communications Ministry contacting me about it?”

Spammy links? Really? I have been steering myself away from social media for the sake of my mental health, and you think I would voluntarily jump into those multiple circles of Hell again?

“Because we are from Communications Ministry?”

“No. Issues like this usually are taken care by the police force. For something as important as this, I expect a printed letter from the ministry completed with the ministry seal, not through a phone call where I cannot verify your identity. So why this phone call?”

“Oh, this is a hotline number–“

“No. I know full well this is a handphone number. And you are a scammer.”

Are you familiar with Scooby Doo-ish villain unmask? Whenever Fred or the Mystery Inc. gang pulled out the monster’s mask, only to reveal the villain’s true identity beneath it? And you know how the villain usually gets so angry, yeah? That what was happened.

That guy suddenly called me a “moron” out of anger.

“Hey! You are a moron, you accuse me. No, no. You must be a foreigner, you should go back to your country. The police will go to you!”

“I would like to see you try.”

Then I disconnected the call with an annoyed huff.

After the call, I got slightly curious because I wondered if this type of scam just started/trending. As an Indonesian, I’m used to scam phone calls like this — for better or worse. As kind, generous, and open as Indonesians are, you might notice a bit of a “self-guard”-sense in every Indonesian precisely because of this, so I could pick it up pretty quickly.

I once received a similar scam call years ago, and the scammer introduced themselves as someone from Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri Malaysia (Inland Revenue Board Malaysia). They said my overseas shopping order got stuck in Customs due to some outstanding payments. Jokes on them because I avoid overseas stores like the plague and I always try to purchase from local stores in Malaysia. Hence, when they mentioned “overseas stores,” my radar picked up. When they asked what my last purchase was, I replied, “Hm, my last purchase? A pack of nasi lemak in front of my apartment building. Does Customs want that, too?” (to be fair, I was honest. It was for my breakfast.) The phone call ended abruptly, and I could sense their annoyance ?

I have a few suggestions/tips for all of you, friends who have been in Malaysia recently or for years, or perhaps pretty new to this scammer business: Always, always, always suspect phone calls that say they are from government institutions. Any legitimate government institutions/bodies would always send you a printed/physical letter, never a phone call, at least that’s how it is in Malaysia. I know how confusing and worrying it is to hear that your ID/phone number/so-and-so got affected or possibly blacklisted, and that’s what the scammers are aiming for: You panicking so they can lead you to give out your personal information and, most likely, transfer money to them. This is also the reason why they are trying to rile you up by being rude or racist. The scammer called me with degrading words and told me to go back to my country because I’m a foreigner precisely for that.

When this happens, stay calm. Remember that if you have issues/points of interest with government institutions, they will send you a mail with their legitimate seal on it, not a phone call — especially NOT from a handphone number. Then, when in doubt, close/disconnect the call immediately and contact any available hotlink numbers to be sure/for confirmation. For example, for LHDN, you can find their numbers here: https://www.hasil.gov.my/hubungi-kami/

(While we are at it, shout out to our awesome WordPress.com users contacting us for a gut check/double check on potentially spammy emails. No, you never take too much of our time. I always appreciate users reaching out for a gut check, running suspicious emails they received, and checking whether it’s from WordPress.com. Thank you so much for staying alert and on guard!)

This scam with the Communications Ministry, though, has been around for at least 2-3 years since 2021/2022. This honestly got me thinking about whether these scammers routinely read the news. I mean, doing the same modus operandi that spanned for years? Really? (although to be fair, there are still risks of having people falling victims.) Luckily, I found an article on what to do when you got a phone call from scammers: Beware of phone scammers posing as Communications Ministry officers. The article recommends folks to contact the National Scam Response Centre at 997 to report the number, and that’s what I did.

I noted down the scammer’s phone number and called 997. I was nervous because Truecaller listed the number as “Ambulance,” and the LAST thing I would want is to contact the service by mistake and have medics and an ambulance in front of my house. So, when a lady picked up my phone call, I asked her immediately:

“Hello, good morning. How may I help?”

“Hello. I’m so sorry to bother you. Is this the number, 997, where we can report scammer phone calls?”

“Oh, yes! You are on the right place!”

PHEW. NO AMBULANCE. ALL IS GOOD, PEOPLE.

“Oh, thank you! I would like to report a phone call by a scammer posing as someone from Communications Ministry!”

I gave her the number, and the lady advised me to block the scammer’s number immediately.

Also, this might be a good idea: Having AI to respond to the scammer. The video is in Indonesian, dang, the conversation is so hilarious.

So, there you go. That was my morning.