coriander in pho

colorful ice cream display with various cones

  • Digital Graveyard

    I never thought too much about digital graveyard until I revisited my bookmarks on my Chrome browser.

    When I was a Happiness Engineer, my Chrome browser was connected to my Automattic profile. For five years, I never used my personal Chrome account. Naturally, the bookmarks went unnoticed.

    After I resigned, I reset my Chrome browser and realized that I still have the bookmarks —- and a lot of them are either outdated (last update 7-9 years ago, even) or inactive. Some have the bloggers already passed away.

    It was sad and bittersweet. It makes me wonder how vast our digital graveyard is. I remember there was an uptick in the Support queue from users a couple of years ago, mainly Indonesians, requesting for their WordPress.com blogs to be set to Private. It was so prevalent, our team had an internal discussion talking about it. The Indonesians staffs, including me, in the discussion put two and two together, and we told the team that the users who asked for their site to be set to Private are most likely those who provide “Jasa Tutup Akun” (Account Closure) services. We noticed that a lot of these blogs were last updated 9-10 years prior, and with rough calculations, the blogger’s age by the request came would be in their early twenties —- the age where one is looking for a job. Their blogs might be created when they were in their teens, and as teens usually do, a lot of the posts could be considered as “cringe” or unfit for their social media profile. As they might have lost their account and blog access, they resorted to these Jasa Tutup Akun services, and these services contact the Support team and request for their (client’s) account to be closed or to set the blog to Private (yes, it’s possible in WordPress.com). The requests were no longer as many as before, though, and I would gander that it’s because the rise of popularity of social media and blog becomes a really niche element in the vast world of the Internet and the team’s effort in reducing such requests.

    Anyway.

    It’s funny, isn’t it, that we are all here just a mere speck of a dust in the Internet, that bits and bytes beeping, the zeros and ones that comprised our username and our meticulously crafted Instagram persona, and it’s easy for us to think that nobody would miss us if we go away and disappear. Then, there is — at least — one stranger out there that might have you in their mind and cherish and cheer for you.

    — This post is dedicated to all bloggers out there

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  • The Twins

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  • After Almost 6 Years…

    I’m leaving Automattic.

    The first question would always be: “Why?” — Especially, considering the recent ongoing drama in the WordPress community, it’s easy to think if I (finally) left because of misalignment with Matt and the company.

    I’d say, it’s more of a 50-50 situation. I have been staying away from the drama and only reading some news articles to keep me in the loop on what has been going on, but I must admit, I’m starting to get affected, and with all the changes going on, I made my decision. The people involved in the lawsuit got to do what they gotta do. As for me, I found that this chapter in my life is good to close. It has been fun.

    It was not an easy one. I forged friendships with some of the kindest, most generous, funniest, smartest, and most amazing people in Automattic. When Tasha Bishop joined Automattic as the lead of Dotcom Happiness Division, and asked some of us who have been in the company for more than 3 years why and how we stay, I immediately answered, “The people.” I learned so much from them — and I still don’t know how they can be so patient with me! These are the people who see me using potato filter during team hangout and simply went with their day — and I will always cherish the memories and miss them dearly.

    The changes caused by the WP drama have been really difficult for me to handle, and it seeped into how I work and function — both in my personal and work life. That was when I realized that the situation would be unfair for everyone: For Automattic as my employer, for our end users that I support, for my family, and for myself. As selfish as this sounds, I then decided to resign.

    So, what’s next?

    I’m saying this with my stinky rotten privileges: I don’t know. I don’t know when and how I will jump back into the workforce. Yes, I understand and am well aware that the job market is really bad and has been that way since 2-3 years ago.

    That said, I’m going to refocus on myself and my family. Again, I have the privilege to have the option to choose: To be a full-time career/working mother or to be a housewife. Right now, I’m the latter, and damn it, I will do my best. Again, a privilege that I got during my time in Automattic is the opportunity to receive coaching, learning, and meeting and sharing with awesome kind souls. I have said it and I said it again: I learned a lot from them. I learned about myself and how I see the unknown road ahead. Most importantly, I learned to trust myself. I don’t see this as a “step back”. It never was, and it will never is. Before Automattic, I was a housewife, too! It’s a role switch, hahah. This time, I know what to do.

    I also have some plans in line — in Indonesian word: “Banyak maunya“:

    • Driving school. I can’t drive to save my life. I can’t drive because I’m too terrified/I’m too scared of traffic. I have been thinking of taking a driving lesson, though! Please wish me luck as I come into ongoing traffic while screaming.
    • Sewing lessons. I can’t sew, I want to be able to sew, and I want to be able to make dresses WITH POCKETS, damnit.
    • Online courses. There are two topics that I really want to be good at: Project Management and Data Analysis. I honestly don’t know how the Hell I’m going to use the knowledge after I finished the courses, but I want to learn them.
    • Improving my writing and reading skills. Thanks to Automattic, I found the joy in writing and reading 🙂 I don’t know what I want to write, hahah, but I definitely going to read more and write more (book reviews!). I also plan to restart Impromptu Journal.
    • Gardening. I want to have an actual garden in my balcony — as in, vegetable garden. I already have one chili plant, and I’m thinking of growing tomatoes and cilantro plants (oooo, the arrogance!)

    For those of you who have been following my journey in Automattic, thank you 🙂 Here’s to more adventures ahead. Perhaps not an epic adventure. I would say Hobbit-like adventure (less the “walking to Mordor”-part and more of “second breakfast”-part.)

    Also, in case you are curious, I’m not leaving WordPress — although, to be honest, I’m never super involved in the community anyway (fun fact: I never attend any WordCamp, ever.) The reason is that I’m too terrified of meeting new people — this blog is still powered by WordPress, and I owe a good chunk of my young adult life to WordPress.

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  • How do you “perform”?

    This is more like a question than a blog post, hahah. But yes, this is something that I have been wondering about. From my limited experience and exposure in trips to different countries, I noticed there are folks that somehow so eloquent in speaking and storytelling. For example, Sergio Barros in Covent Garden Street. Barros is one of the legends in the area, and I had the honor to watch his performance. It was an impromptu moment, even! We were on the Covent Garden with my sister-in-law and her husband, and we saw Sergio Barros’ performance. I remember it was so hilarious and entertaining. This is a video by someone watched his performance 10 years ago (!)

    I’m jealous, hahah. I know that it comes from years of experiences and honing one’s skills, and I hope I could learn a thing or two.

    I always believe that storytelling is a skill that needed to be mastered. We don’t want to “hear” history. We want to hear stories from history, from everything. Thanks to technology and science, we know why earthquakes happen. But do we know that people in the olden days shared stories that “… Neither do you know, why there is an earthquake. He has told me that you don’t know why it shakes. It shakes because the moon, the sun, and the earth are fighting”? Now we know.

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  • Lunch

    Lunch is biryani and paneer tikka masala from last night.

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Quick blurbs

  • Next project: Intermediate Theme Developer

    I want to develop themes that sing praises for the 2000s. I always feel we could have a bit more 2000s-era whimsy.

the blogger

Nindya. Kapkap. she/her. Indonesian in Malaysia. Millennial. Lo-fi. Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Murder mystery genre.

Currently feeling:

The current mood of retnonindya at www.imood.com

Part of blogroll.org, bubbles.town, and personalsit.es

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bookmarks

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photoblog

  • Entering the Months of Glorious Sunsets
  • April in pictures
  • Red onions

reading

  • “Abdijiwo” by Retno Widya
  • “The Maid” by Nita Prose
  • The Liebermann Papers on BBCPlayer

current tunes

readme.txt

This is my personal blog, so anything goes. Everything written here came from me, and is not a reflection of my family or the place where I work (although, to be fair, I’m a housewife now, so the things written here are not reflections of my throw pillows on the sofa.) While things here are generally PG-13, I must remind you that I’m an adult, which means some topics might be too heavy for younger readers.

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