• Little Blob update and dietitian visit

    I once saw someone, an Indonesian, wrote on Threads: “It always feels easier to journal things in English as it’s not our primary language, and it makes us detached from our feelings,” and it stuck with me ever since. Perhaps that’s the reason why I have been feeling so frustrated with my blog (for the umpteenth time), but somehow, it feels weird to write in Indonesian.

    Anyway! I’m doing quite well here. I already had several visits with the obstetrician, and from our past 3 visits, the baby is looking great — as great as a, uh, blob. There was some kind of bloodied scare, though, but it was super minor (even though we took midnight trip to the ER because we were so worried!) and the obstetrician prescribed me progesterone hormone supplements to ensure my uterus stays strong and healthy.

    One of my biggest fears when we got the news was that this pregnancy can be considered as a high-risk pregnancy. I told my obstetrician, “I’m so scared of this high-risk pregnancy. I’m 40 years old, and according to BMI, I’m obese.”

    Surprisingly, at least for me, the obstetrician looked so… relaxed (?) Definitely less worried than I did, hahah. She assured me that it’s now super common for 40 years old women to be pregnant, even with first child. As for obesity, she mentioned that the concerns are due to possible complications that might happened, notably: High blood pressure and diabetes. Since I don’t have any history of both high blood pressure and diabetes on my previous pregnancies, she assured me that things should be alright. “Besides,” she said, “those things are actually manageable. You don’t have to worry about them.”

    Right now, the pregnancy age is 5 weeks-ish, according to the latest USG. So far, I have been having nausea, but not super extreme (yet). I do have some cravings, though, usually in forms of warm jasmine rice and tempe goreng. I found myself enjoying Asian food more (rice rules ✊✨), and have been avoiding sourdough bread like a plague. I also found myself feeling tired more than usual, but I always try to squeeze in a 30-minutes super mild super relaxed treadmill walk.

    Also, fun fact, I have been visiting a dietitian. This was a funny coincidence, though. I decided to consult with a dietitian several weeks before I found out I was pregnant. The reason being: I don’t know how to stay healthy. Sure, I can scoured the whole Internet and social media for tips and recommendations, but without an expert’s help, it might be hard. I really don’t want to pull myself into self-wallowing vortex and body image issues. Been there, done that.

    When I had the first meeting with the dietitian, we chatted about my eating patterns and habits. Surprise, surprise, she told me: “You are not eating enough.”

    “… … … … excusemewhat 😀”

    “You are not eating enough. Your breakfast only consists of two boiled eggs. This is not enough. You need to have two slices of toast and a cup of fruits.”

    “Also,” she continued, “do you think you can squeeze in a snack time?”

    I had to process her words. Snack time? I’m, uh, shaw-rey 💅 I don’t snack. I rarely snack. I usually eat just three times a day. That’s it. That should be considered as healthy, no?

    Apparently, nope. What happened is: My body is lacking nutrients, so it has been running on “survival/panic mode”. Every nutrient that it gets being kept as fat reserve as Just In Case We Need To Face An Apocalypse. My body literally going, “oh, are we running from the Dutch Indies, my dear? Not to worry, I will make sure you are plump to be ready to fight the colonizer!”

    To combat it, the body needs more food to ensure the body that everything is alright. To ensure the food is being used properly, daily 30 minutes exercise is recommended.

    Anyway. I just started with the new meal schedule for a week when the pregnancy news came out. As expected, the dietitian grinned and said, “alright, two snack times: Morning and afternoon. You think you can do that?” So, yeah, in case anyone wants to know, I have been grazing for the past week. I might in the process of depleting the nation’s peppermint tea and chamomile tea’s reserve.

    Obligatory pics for you all, online uncles and aunties:

  • Another Little One

    It was last week, when my precise-as-clockwork period schedule suddenly missed for four days. At that time, there were three things on my mind:

    • Perimenopause, since I’m 40 years old already,
    • “IS THIS A CANCER?” — a very good reason why doctors all over the world discourage us to Google our symptoms, and…
    • Pregnancy, which, “I don’t think it’s possible? I suppose to be on perimenopause, no?”

    Then again, I decided to do a test, just to eliminate one possibility — until I saw a faint second line.

    It was midnight, and Ari already fast asleep, but he still got awoken when he heard my “huh?”

    “What happened?”

    “Is— is this a second line?”

    “Huh,” he rubbed his eyes and squinted it with hope it could ward off the sleepiness, “I honestly not sure. How about we check it again tomorrow morning?”

    In the morning, I tested again. I did found it weird when the pharmacy cashier insisted that I should take another test pack when I bought it the day before. “Buy one get one free,” she said, and when I said I only need one, she repeated her words: “Buy one get one free, ma’am.” Well, I did use both of the test packs.

    “So, how was it?” Ari popped his head on the bathroom door.

    Is this a second line?

    “Huh. Let me see. I… think so? Do you want to get a USG scan?”

    “Yeah. We can also check with a doctor. Let’s go to the clinic nearby our house before we go to the hospital.”

    In the clinic, I told the doctor that I wanted to check if I’m, indeed, pregnant. The doctor listened, and said, “I know you have tested it yourself, but you aren’t sure. Let’s test it again here, and if the result is negative, we can do a scan.”

    I agreed, and I took another test. We waited outside the doctor’s office for several minutes and when the doctor called us back, she pushed a pregnancy test and said: “Congratulations.”

    “Is it—?”

    “Yes. It’s more prevalent now. The line is clearer.”

    I must admit, my first thought was fear. It’s not that I’m not happy about the pregnancy, it’s just that I’m so scared if I couldn’t provide for the baby. I mean, in this economy? In this kind of world??

    Both Ari and I talked about it in depth. Also, yes, I used contraceptive (IUD), that was why the news was such a shock. We then decided to contact our obstetrician and inform her this news. I remember our obstetrician muttered, “but it’s 99% success rate.” I hear you, but sometimes the 1% can make the whole lot differences. She then pulled out the IUD because the procedure requires her to do so, and let us discussed our next steps.

    Long story short, we decided to continue the pregnancy.

  • A note

    I just remembered I haven’t blogged anything about this. Not exactly forgotten about this, but I have been ruminating whether I should write about this or not because I don’t think I should as I don’t think I deserve anything about it, even the grief, and it has been going on for weeks and I ended up putting it on the back of my mind, but here we goes.

    My dad passed away last month.

    I said something about “undeserving of grief” because, if I can be honest, my relationship with my parents weren’t the greatest. So many coulda woulda shoulda, but in the end, it was a whole scorched-earth situation.

    That said, if you are expecting this blog post to be something like grief, or apologizing, or similar to that, I must tell you that it might not going to be like that. Still so many shoulda woulda coulda, even worse after hearing stories from others and me ending up thinking, “then why not me? Why others deserved the kindness, but not me?”

    Anyway.

    Still, he was my dad, and there were some memories. Requiescat in pace.

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