I once saw someone, an Indonesian, wrote on Threads: “It always feels easier to journal things in English as it’s not our primary language, and it makes us detached from our feelings,” and it stuck with me ever since. Perhaps that’s the reason why I have been feeling so frustrated with my blog (for the umpteenth time), but somehow, it feels weird to write in Indonesian.
Anyway! I’m doing quite well here. I already had several visits with the obstetrician, and from our past 3 visits, the baby is looking great — as great as a, uh, blob. There was some kind of bloodied scare, though, but it was super minor (even though we took midnight trip to the ER because we were so worried!) and the obstetrician prescribed me progesterone hormone supplements to ensure my uterus stays strong and healthy.
One of my biggest fears when we got the news was that this pregnancy can be considered as a high-risk pregnancy. I told my obstetrician, “I’m so scared of this high-risk pregnancy. I’m 40 years old, and according to BMI, I’m obese.”
Surprisingly, at least for me, the obstetrician looked so… relaxed (?) Definitely less worried than I did, hahah. She assured me that it’s now super common for 40 years old women to be pregnant, even with first child. As for obesity, she mentioned that the concerns are due to possible complications that might happened, notably: High blood pressure and diabetes. Since I don’t have any history of both high blood pressure and diabetes on my previous pregnancies, she assured me that things should be alright. “Besides,” she said, “those things are actually manageable. You don’t have to worry about them.”
Right now, the pregnancy age is 5 weeks-ish, according to the latest USG. So far, I have been having nausea, but not super extreme (yet). I do have some cravings, though, usually in forms of warm jasmine rice and tempe goreng. I found myself enjoying Asian food more (rice rules ✊✨), and have been avoiding sourdough bread like a plague. I also found myself feeling tired more than usual, but I always try to squeeze in a 30-minutes super mild super relaxed treadmill walk.
Also, fun fact, I have been visiting a dietitian. This was a funny coincidence, though. I decided to consult with a dietitian several weeks before I found out I was pregnant. The reason being: I don’t know how to stay healthy. Sure, I can scoured the whole Internet and social media for tips and recommendations, but without an expert’s help, it might be hard. I really don’t want to pull myself into self-wallowing vortex and body image issues. Been there, done that.
When I had the first meeting with the dietitian, we chatted about my eating patterns and habits. Surprise, surprise, she told me: “You are not eating enough.”
“… … … … excusemewhat 😀”
“You are not eating enough. Your breakfast only consists of two boiled eggs. This is not enough. You need to have two slices of toast and a cup of fruits.”
“Also,” she continued, “do you think you can squeeze in a snack time?”
I had to process her words. Snack time? I’m, uh, shaw-rey 💅 I don’t snack. I rarely snack. I usually eat just three times a day. That’s it. That should be considered as healthy, no?
Apparently, nope. What happened is: My body is lacking nutrients, so it has been running on “survival/panic mode”. Every nutrient that it gets being kept as fat reserve as Just In Case We Need To Face An Apocalypse. My body literally going, “oh, are we running from the Dutch Indies, my dear? Not to worry, I will make sure you are plump to be ready to fight the colonizer!”
To combat it, the body needs more food to ensure the body that everything is alright. To ensure the food is being used properly, daily 30 minutes exercise is recommended.
Anyway. I just started with the new meal schedule for a week when the pregnancy news came out. As expected, the dietitian grinned and said, “alright, two snack times: Morning and afternoon. You think you can do that?” So, yeah, in case anyone wants to know, I have been grazing for the past week. I might in the process of depleting the nation’s peppermint tea and chamomile tea’s reserve.
Obligatory pics for you all, online uncles and aunties:
