• As someone with a chronic condition of overthinking and anxiety like me (please note that I have never been formally and medically diagnosed, so I’m not going to say that I have an anxiety disorder. That said, yes, I tend to worry about everything), it has been difficult for me to find a suitable exercise to keep me healthy. People have been mentioning about “runners’ high” or “dopamine hits”, but not me. I have never been able to find the joy in jogging, let alone running. I loathe zumba class (I attended to a couple of sessions until I decided to quit), and I avoid gym sessions. I always ended up tired, pissed, sweaty, stinky, even more pissed because I got sweaty and stinky, and hungry.

    Swimming helped me a bit… ish. Yes, it’s quite relaxing as you glide in the water and feel the cool water around you when it’s summer and hot outside, but I always got that small voice in the back of my mind, nagging, with its tiny squeaky voice, “what if…?” or “hey, you forgot this…”

    Recently, though, I saw a video on Instagram (I forgot to save it) that mentioning something about exercising for people with “a lot of thoughts in their mind”. I remember the vlogger mentioned something along the line of, “what they need to do is to regulate their nervous system so their brain won’t have the time to ask questions. Doing repetitive simple movements that not making them push themselves physically too hard usually helps.” What the vlogger said then reminded me of Qi Gong type of exercise. I’m quite familiar with this type of exercise, thanks to Xiaohongshu and watching older folks moving during my morning walk in the park.

    I then decided to give the exercise a try. It did help, though. I usually do the simple movements when I feel everything is too much for me, be it mentally or physically. Be it reading too much bad news about Indonesia or a really late bedtime. I feel that rather than not doing anything with the excuse of “I feel tired because I slept super late/I feel hopeless after reading another horrible news from Indonesia”, I could do something, such as waving my arms left and right while doing a tiptoe movements on my legs. I usually feel better afterwards, and more energized. Sometimes, I followed it with a quick simple yoga session or a walking pad session.

    In case you are curious, you can check out this video:

    I also found that the routine taught me to be more patient with myself. Some days, I could only managed to do a 10-minutes simple routine. Some days, I could do a yoga session without forcing and pushing myself. Today is one of those days.

  • I found it interesting that Terry Pratchett had been so good in writing down poignant thoughts that would make you pause and think, without him being preachy. This book reminds me of Studio Ghibli’s movies exactly for the same reason. The ideas are always oh so subtle, but it made you feel a certain way about how you used to be and, hopefully, a gentle nudge to be better.

    My first introduction to Terry Pratchett’s work was the novel “Good Omens”. I love how “naive” the characters always are, regardless of their omnipotent status or power. Who can forget Death’s answer when being asked, “you’re Hell’s Angels, then? What chapter are you from?” with “REVELATIONS. CHAPTER SIX.” It’s always that “good intentions”, and we all know that the road to Hell is paved with Good Intentions. Hence in this novel, I was delighted when I saw Death’s greetings, “GOOD AFTERNOON.”

    Tiffany Aching is a really interesting character. I love how imperfect she is. She knew she didn’t love her brother, Wentworth, at least not the kind of siblings affection, but she knew she’s selfish by stating, “my brother!” in front of the Queen of the Faeries. Her imperfections were not her weapons or “that cute side of her”. It was her side that she suppressed because society asked her to “love and care” her siblings, no matter how annoying (and sticky) they are.

    I also love how vivid the places and the emotions were. I know Terry Pratchett was good, but never realized he was this good. He wove words and sentences to express something in an abstract yet really clear in our mind. For example, a “cold and thin feelings inside the chest” to describe homesickness. He also respected his characters. No character is too small for him, and it seemed like he always made sure each character, even the background ones, would have something to do or say. My favorite part: When the Nac Mac Feegles fought and bickered with each other when they disguised themselves as a “human” in “A Hat Full of Sky”.

    I wish I could write more about this book. Unfortunately, this book is too vast and too rich to be summed in one blog post. At least for now.

  • “Activist musician”

    Reading Ed Sheeran’s speech when he opened his Philadelphia concert gave me a bit of a pause, that immediately followed by, “huh. Anywayyyy…” This part, particularly:

    I don’t want to disappoint fans, and I’ve never wanted to be an activist musician, but this has put me in the middle of an important and passionate argument about freedom of speech and the most complex political issue on the planet.

    There has always been that voice: “But I just want to make music/play music/draw/create!” Hell yea, we just want to make music! Draw! Crochet! Why should we care about “politics” and whatever is going on at the other side of the world, whether someone gets bombed to smithereens or not?

    The “problem”, though, is the fact that even our ability and opportunity to create art is political. The reason why you could get a shiny brand-new guitar in your hands, or those nice wool yarns you can get at your nearby craft stores, those are all a result of political actions and decisions. I mean, hey, a sewing machine is one of the items that are banned in entering Palestine. But sure, go off with those “I just want to do crochet! I don’t care about politics!”

    I can understand the mental fatigue and despair in seeing today’s current news. No human being could handle this level of information and news tsunami. It feels like all of us are grasping at straws for a sliver of good news. When such dark waves are tiding in, it’s normal and expected of us to find some small joys, such as making music, strumming our guitars, painting, or knitting. That said, I don’t think we could negate that whatever we are enjoying, and not enjoying, right now is a result of some powerful people’s decisions and, well, the game of politics.

    This is why the term “activist musician” does not sit well with me. We are in the year of our Lord of 2026, and being apolitical would be… I don’t know, sad? Miserable? I’m not sure how often an Ed Sheeran opens his social media, but I honestly wonder if he ever reads something like “silence is complicity”.

    I once chatted about this with Ari. Specifically, on why some megastars prefer to stay quiet and “cari jalan aman” (I’m trying to find the English equivalent of this. Hm. “Choosing the safer route”?) despite the number of followers they have. Ari commented that, “perhaps that’s the reason why they stay quiet: They don’t want to lose their followers.” I also wondered if the reason they never share their opinions or thoughts is that they never have one in the first place. Their images have been so polished and fabricated up to a point that they forgot how to be themselves. It’s like that scene on “Sen to Chihiro” (Spirited Away) by Studio Ghibli, you know? When Chihiro got her name “taken” by Yuubaba, the evil witch and the bath-house owner, and changed into “Sen”. Haku told her to “remember your name”; because, ultimately, you should not forget who you really are. Perhaps this is what’s happened, and is happening, to the Ed Sheerans out there. They got so used to being directed, being told what to speak, see, hear, and think, so they forgot how to do it on their own in the first place. As Macklemore said, “his typical apolitical stance was being challenged.” Ed Sheeran got so used to being an Ed Sheeran, he might forgot how it is like to be Edward Christopher Sheeran.

    I’m not hating on Ed Sheeran. I don’t even feel anger. I just feel sad. Pity, even, seeing an adult man looking at what the world has gone into and deciding, “well, not my business. I just want to sing.” Well, you and your tours and concerts, all those, are thanks to political decisions.

    Fun fact, especially to those who “only want to sing”: During the administration of President Soekarno, Indonesia’s first president, the band members of Koes Bersaudara got thrown into the jail for one crime: Their music was inspired by The Beatles. Soekarno was hell-bent on eradicating any “western influences” in Indonesia, and he set his wrath on The Beatles, rock n’ roll, and western music in general, mocking it as “musik ngak-ngik-ngok”. This was Soekarno’s speech during Indonesia’s Independence Day celebration in 1959:

    “Dan engkau, hei pemuda-pemuda dan pemudi-pemudi; engkau yang tentunya anti-imperialisme ekonomi, engkau yang menentang imperialisme politik; kenapa di kalangan engkau banyak yang tidak menentang imperialisme kebudayaan? Kenapa di kalangan engkau banyak yang masih rock n roll, rock n roll-an, dansi- dansian ala cha-cha-cha, musik-musikan ala ngak-ngik-ngok, gila-gilaan, dan lain-lain sebagainya lagi? Kenapa di kalangan engkau banjak yang gemar membaca tulisan-tulisan dari luaran, yang nyata itu adalah imperialisme kebudayaan?”

    Then, on the next administration by President Soeharto, it was the ballad and melancholic genre that got the hit as it was dubbed as “pop cengeng“. Betharia Sonata, one of Indonesia’s famous singers, was forced to sing “more upbeat, joyful songs” in 1988.

    Bahkan, menurutnya, lagu-lagu cengeng bisa membuat masyarakat menyerah dan melemahkan komitmen pembangunan bangsa. Ditambah lagi, lagu tersebut hanya bualan semata sebab bukan dibuat berdasarkan kenyataan di masyarakat.

    Insert that all-singing-and-all-dancing-and-all-smiles North Korea performers meme or video here.

    I’m closing this post with a quote from Terry Pratchett, taken from his book “The Wee Free Men: The Beginning”:

    “Them as can do has to do for them as can’t. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices.”

    (I am also not denying the fact that Ed might not be apolitical, since I didn’t see it when he showed his support to Ukraine. It could be that he chooses to be political depending on skin colors or him too scared to face the “wrath” of some old white dude called themselves as “billionaires” with halitosis and hemorrhoids.)

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