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On traveling post-pandemic

5/31/2022 4:50 PM

I’m typing this as I’m waiting for my flight from Langkawi to Kuala Lumpur. For the past week, I have been in Langkawi for a team meetup — a first (for the team) after 2.5 years of no traveling. Even right now, I must admit, I’m still nervous about traveling.

I might write about the beauty of Langkawi, but right now I want to write about traveling — specifically, on how we see the process.

I believe I’m not exaggerating when I said that the pandemic makes us traumatized. Even for folks who can be considered as “doing okay” during the pandemic, the whole thing definitely caused psychological scars to some degree.

Prior the pandemic, both Ari and I travel a lot. Ari with his job, me with Automattic. For me, specifically, it wasn’t as many as Ari’s but there were definitely some trips going on — at least for the team meetup and the Grand Meetup.

Then the effing pandemic happened, and we stuck with each other for a long 2.5 years. We underwent multiple lockdowns, and we fast realized we only got each other — four of us.

I’m the first one in the family who got the work-related travel. The team decided on a team meetup. Ari mentioned that he hasn’t heard anything from his office; especially with the office found out that the staffs can still do a good dang job remotely.

Oh how the anxiety flared in — and it was not solely me feeling it. I noticed Rey sulked on the night before my flight to Langkawi. I found myself stressed out about home while I was away.

Then, work-related trips starting to pop out on the company’s Slack channel. Some destinations are even further than Langkawi.

My goodness, I found myself dragging my feet.

So many anxieties, so many worries, and so many guilts. The guilt.

If you are expecting this post to end with an enlightenment, prepare to be disappointed.

I feel really guilty. And anxious. And worried.

And I don’t know how to overcome it.

Writings and General Commentaries

blubs
50,000 feet. 50 feet. 5 feet.

5/27/2022 11:38 AM

Reflect upon your leadership and your direction, and then practise thinking, acting and communicating at the different altitudes. Even if you’re not responsible for setting your organisation’s vision, spend some time each week thinking and learning about the outside world, its possibilities, its changes, its trends and the resulting opportunities or threats, now and in the future (50,000 feet). Likewise, allot time for executing, implementing and doing (50 feet). Lastly, set aside time to reflect on who you are, what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and how you can challenge yourself to be the best leader that you can be (5 feet).
The Three Altitudes of Leadership (2017)

I’m currently wondering if I am “worthy enough” to think about vision and grander scale, but the quote above gives assurance that yes, I can put myself in such position.

Bookmarks

leadership
Mid-2022, perhaps

5/23/2022 9:22 AM

It was when Ari and I visited medical clinic for our tummy problem when I saw a sign on the clinic door.

“Psychologists available.”

Along with the name of the doctors.

I might go take a visit. Perhaps after this month. I’m thinking July? August?

I have so many things in my mind with so many questions. Mostly “whys” and “hows”. Also, I really don’t want to self-diagnose myself — it’s one of the most dangerous approaches you can take on your well-being.

To have a professional looking into the Questions with me, and together we navigate the tangled ropes, would be wonderful.

I know I’m not alone.

And now, I can take up the sword and the shield, and meet the monsters. Or perhaps, it won’t be a monster. It will be me. Me looking at myself.

And we need to sit down and chat.

Mental Health

blubs, self-reminder

The Blogger

Nindya. Kapkap. she/her. Indonesian in Malaysia. Millennial. Lo-fi. Post-Rock. Gregorian. Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Murder mystery genre. “Love is Love“.