After all these things and through all these things

What’s the first thing you guys will do once the MCO is lifted?

A question in a watercooler Slack channel

I would create appointment with the air conditioner technicians to fix and do the thorough check on the air conditioners in our unit. Ari had done a good job in fixing some annoying leaking issue, but we wanted a professional to take a look and check if things need to be fixed or not.

Then, going to mamak restaurant to eat roti canai and a cup of warm sweet teh tarik, followed by a walk in the park.

I think one of the most frustrating things on this lockdown business is the obligation to stay at home. Me myself is a homebody/self-certified couch potato/I prefer to roll from one place to another with maximum distance of 5 meters rather than actually using my feet to walk — but dammit, when you are being told that you couldn’t and shouldn’t go out, that’s frustrating. When the choice is being taken away, that’s when your brain decided to riot.

Harvard Business Review commented that the discomfort we have been feeling is grief — and it rings true. We are grieving for the lives lost, succumbing to the virus. We are grieving for the connections being taken away from us; a casual hello or a hug between loved ones suddenly seen as high-risk and potentially life-threatening. We are grieving for the choices lost as we feel uncertain for the future.

And I feel these words: “Cry, Heart, But Never Break” are perfect to summarize how we feel and how we face this.

For you, friends: It’s okay to cry.

Did I cry? Hell yeah. I thought things will be easier as the lockdown progresses, but no, I’m still as angry and as sad as Day One. I’m still as pissed off as before.

It’s okay to cry.

Then we give our collective middle finger to the virus because we know we can get through this. That scene where Keanu Reeves as Constantine being pulled to the Heaven and giving Lucifer a flipping bird? Yeah, that.

Stay safe, stay strong, and stay healthy.


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