2020

I’ve been neglecting this blog for quite some weeks now, despite my intention to do daily blogging. It’s pretty easy for me to forgot about blogging, I guess — just last night I realized, “wait, I can just post this on the WP app!” So, yeah, slightly expecting Mobile Developers team hunting me down with pitchfork.

Anyway, the Happiest New Year for you all! I was so confused why folks around me got so reflective and solemn as January 1 approaching when I realized it was the end of a decade too. I personally couldn’t say this decade is better or worse, mostly because each year and each decade has their own adventures. During my years as a housewife (circa 2014-2018ish,) I battled a bit of mental issues and learned how to accept things, specifically, on how I accept myself.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

I felt, and still feel, like the acceptance process was quite a process in itself. Sometimes, I feel like, “no, this is not the best version of myself,” and some times, I looked into myself and wondered if hey, things are good enough and I am good enough.

In the end, it feels like a bit of knowing your limit right now. You know you are awesome (I know I am, and I know you are ?) but today you are not feeling awesome and that’s totally okay; awesomeness can wait tomorrow.

So! New year usually means some kind of resolutions, and I… don’t have any resolutions. Mostly because I don’t know how things will turn out ? I mean, who could predict I would apply as a Happiness Engineer back in 2018 and started my work in Automattic early 2019? And 2019 has been such a year. Such a year. There were times I cried in front of my laptop, feeling inadequate and completely stupid. There were times I threw my fist to the air and yelled, “YES!” when I found a workaround for tricky issues. There were times I juggled my schedule, energy, and time between working hours and personal time. There were times, and still are!, I received so many hugs and encouraging words.

However, I found myself listing things I want to do in 2020. I want to be able to take care of myself better — on physical health and mental health. I’m still juggling between handling my energy for working hours and personal/family hours, and there are some things I have been neglecting. I’m still looking the best way for that, though. I’m still holding to ‘A Monk’s Guide to a Clean House and Mind’ and I’ve been looking for some inspirations on Youtube. This is one of my favorites.

A bit of confession, though; it’s really really hard for me to do exercise in the morning ? I feel like my energy should be preserved in the morning because, damnit, handling kids early in the morning — and one of them is Rey — takes another level of energy. Let alone working Support afterwards.

I’ve been doing before-bedtime yoga, though ? I haven’t feel any tremendous changes, but it’s all about process so we’ll see. If you have any suggestions or tips in exercising, feel free to share it!

I don’t and won’t going to say 2020 will be easier or a smooth ride because, hey, who knows. Hopefully, I would always have the strength, courage, happiness, kindness, and patience as I navigate many years ahead; I do wish the same goes to you all.

Happy New Year. Here’s for a year of dancing, singing, and generally being awesome.