I just remembered I haven’t blogged anything about this. Not exactly forgotten about this, but I have been ruminating whether I should write about this or not because I don’t think I should as I don’t think I deserve anything about it, even the grief, and it has been going on for weeks and I ended up putting it on the back of my mind, but here we goes.
My dad passed away last month.
I said something about “undeserving of grief” because, if I can be honest, my relationship with my parents weren’t the greatest. So many coulda woulda shoulda, but in the end, it was a whole scorched-earth situation.
That said, if you are expecting this blog post to be something like grief, or apologizing, or similar to that, I must tell you that it might not going to be like that. Still so many shoulda woulda coulda, even worse after hearing stories from others and me ending up thinking, “then why not me? Why others deserved the kindness, but not me?”
Anyway.
Still, he was my dad, and there were some memories. Requiescat in pace.
I mentioned here that one of the things I wanted to do, and passed, is learning how to drive. I couldn’t drive, and there were times I wished I could. I remember when Rey was still a baby, and she got a fever. It was midnight, my husband was out of town for a business trip, and I didn’t know what to do. I pulled an all-nighter and took Rey to the hospital in the morning.
Late last year, I thought to myself, “here it is,” and decided to have a driving lesson. Ari and I passed this place several times, so we decided to contact them.
The process was quite smooth. The staff told me upfront that the payment would be different since I’m not a Malaysian, which, understandable. They also told me the necessary steps to apply for a driving license in Malaysia. In general, the steps are:
Attending a 6-hour in-class session (theory lessons),
Passed the theory test (you need 42 correct answers out of 50 questions) ,
Attending the driving lessons: 10 hours for lessons in the circuit, and 6 hours for lessons on the road.
Passed the Qualifying Test at the Institute (QTI) — someone told me that the QTI was added as part of the compulsory steps after an accident that involved a JPJ (Road Transport Department in Malaysia) staff member with a driving test attendee during the JPJ test (the final driving test.) After a series of investigations, the driving test attendee had just finished their driving lessons (5 days before) and immediately took the JPJ test. Considering the possible lack of technical skills, the government then decided for driving institutions in Malaysia to add another layer of complexity: QTI. This to ensure driving test attendees are actually qualified to attend the test and drive properly on the circuit and on the open road, be it for a test.
Last but not least, the final boss: Passed the JPJ test. During this test, JPJ staff will be there and grade our performance. Some people said that QTI was harder than the JPJ test because the evaluators are usually really rigid to ensure only those who actually can attend the test can pass, but some said that both are equally terrifying, hahah.
There was no problem on my end in attending the classes since I am now a housewife without time constraints during the daytime. I took the driving classes on weekdays, and I was pretty happy. Since it was during the weekdays, there were not a lot of folks practicing, so my instructor and I got the circuit for ourselves to practice. It was fun, though, seeing a lot of folks practicing to drive and seeing the cars moving slowly and carefully. My heart is happy seeing cars actually giving signs when they are going to turn or switch lanes, hahah.
Also, I got the chance to see the folks learning how to drive motorcycle there. The driving institute also offers driving license and lessons for other types of vehicles: Motorcycles, lorries, bus, even tractors! I was surprised when I learned that even three-wheels motorcycles (commonly used for differently-able folks and those who usually carry goods around) need a proper license.
It kinda amused me seeing the motorcycle-driving students paying attention to the traffic, even stopping and looking both ways several times when they are at a junction, while in reality, some people with motorcycles can be quite reckless. I really hope that with more people taking driving lessons like this, it will help us to build better traffic and road conditions.
I had a stumbling block when I had my JPJ test. I failed at the first time, in February, on the side parking/parallel parking section. While the car was in the allotted parking box, the side mirror was not. The JPJ staff informed me this and encouraged me to retake the exam. Which, I did. I took a repeat exam back in March, during the Ramadan month, so it was… Interesting. I didn’t fast at that time, but for some reasons, the intense pressure that commonly felt during Ramadan month (most moslems see the Ramadan month as our purgatory level anyway, hahah. It’s the month when we do our best in everything and work hard, which, can be felt even twice or thrice harder thanks to the dry fasting) and while I was able to pass the side parking section, I failed — again! — on the three-point turn! It was quite tricky as: 1. You only got one chance to make it right (compared to side parking when you got 5 minutes to park), 2. You only got three chances to stop/hit the brakes, and 3. No hitting/driving over the straight yellow lines.
“Frustrated” was the right word, yep. Everyone around me told me to keep my chin up and take a break since we approached Eid, and I should use the opportunity to keep learning. Ari helped me by taking me to empty parking areas in Putrajaya so I could practice on the weekends.
I had my (re)repeat exam yesterday, and I’m glad to share with you all that I passed! The driving instructors encouraged us to stay calm and drive slowly during the exam, and the JPJ staff also mentioned that they won’t be as strict as the first time, as they know we already have a certain level of driving skills, as we (re)practice after the previous failed tests.
I admit, I was so nervous when I approached the three-point turn, but I’m so glad I could make it smoothly. I kinda felt that the JPJ staff knew how nervous we were, so they decided to look away/pretend not to look when we did our three-point turn, hahah!
Now that I have passed the exam, I will need to go to the JPJ office to finish up my driving license application process in the next couple of days. As of now, I’m so happy I finally got the coveted P car stickers! P stickers on cars mean that the driver is new/just freshly passed the exam, so other drivers who are usually more experienced would know and take precautions when driving near these P drivers, hahah.
Yesterday, during lunchtime, I got a phone call from a person saying they were a third-party appointed by Maybank.
The gist is: An account owner on Maybank named Saleha binti Zakaria listed my number as their emergency contact number. The account is suspected of several suspicious transactions, and Saleha cannot be contacted, so this person, on behalf of Maybank, contacted me.
My gut said this is a scam. I don’t know any Saleha binti Zakaria in my life, I don’t have a Maybank account, and, well, overall, the whole thing reeks of a scammer.
I did entertain the conversation, though. I used broken Bahasa Melayu overlapped with English, most of the time I used English, and told the guy that I don’t know any Saleha and I don’t have a Maybank account. I told him: “If needed, I can just go to Maybank and check with them.”
The guy thanked me and ended the conversation. This is where I got the doubt: The conversation was too “civil” for a scam 😅 Like, wow, he was really polite as a scammer lor, hahah. But then again, I think this is a scam. I checked the phone number on Truecall, and the number returned as the number of a teacher/principal (?) of a middle school. I highly doubt this guy is the person who called just now; perhaps number masking? Is it possible to do number masking on a personal phone number? I also haven’t contacting MCMC (Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission) to report the number because what if the number is actually legit and the scammer using some sort of number masking effort.
Anyway! I posted my experience on the subreddit r/malaysia here, under the mega post on commonly known scam tactics in Malaysia. Stay safe, folks! In case you suspect you got scammed or receive scam phone calls, you can report them by following the guide provided here.
For the past week, I have been preparing lunchboxes for my husband and kids. My husband usually bought his lunch at a shopping area near his office, and the kids had their lunch provided by the school canteen with a monthly fee. Things were okay-ish (or so I thought) until several weeks ago, the youngest came home and remarked how hungry she is.
“Didn’t you get your lunch already at school?” I asked, as she opened the fridge for the dozen times. “I did,” she eyed some sliced bread but shook her head, “I had the chocolate sandwich you brought me this morning for lunch.”
“Wait. What? That’s not for lunch, that’s for breakfast!”
I usually pack them “lunchboxes”, or specifically, “breakfastboxes”, since they have to go to school quite early in the morning. It is usually filled with a chocolate sandwich (toast with chocolate sprinkles/hagelslag — fun fact, in Indonesia, hagelslag is called muisjes, and yes, I’m aware that such a dish, especially as a breakfast menu, might be strange for a lot of folks, but it’s really common among Indonesians and the Dutch), some fruits, and some sweets/snacks. Then, this 8-year old looked at me and said that she ate them for lunch.
“No wonder you got so hungry! Those are for breakfast, and not as fulfilling as lunch meals!” I told her she could go to the nearby convenience store to get herself some sausage bun and milk.
Since then, I got curious. I asked both my kids on what they think of the school canteen’s food. My son commented that while the food is generally okay-ish, it didn’t suit his tastebuds much. His words: “It was not as spicy as I would like.” Mind you, this is a teenager who inhaled Buldak sauce and sambal terasi.
“… … … Of course it’s not spicy. The canteen must cater the food for all children of all ages and nationalities and cultures!”
My husband and I suggested that he bring a pack of sambal to school, even a whole bottle of it, so he could reclaim the title Sambal Boi, but he quickly dismissed it.
My daughter, while she enjoyed the canteen’s meal quite much (her preferences on spicy level are not as high as her brother’s), admitted that the meals can be quite… Normal.
That’s when I decided to prepare them breakfastboxes and lunchboxes. I also hoped that by preparing their lunchboxes, I could increase the veggie portions in my son’s daily meals.
Some days, I even made different menus for my kids and my husband. My husband decided to join in, and commented, “I like bringing lunchbox, because I don’t have to think what to eat for lunch and I don’t have to queue, hahah.”
Below is my magnum opus. The kids wanted to have (instant! Gasp! the horror!) mac n’ cheese, so I cooked an entirely different meal, Indonesian-style, for my husband. “Cooked” miiiiight be an exaggeration because the side dishes were pre-made, hahah. The only “cooking” I did was the rice, and it was using a rice cooker, and the chicken nuggest for the kids using the air fryer. For the breakfastbox, I packed them mini pancakes and sliced fruits along with chocolate sauce.
Preparing breakfast/lunchboxes can be tiring. I usually wake up at 5 AM to prepare everything and finish it by 6 AM. That said, I found joy in preparing it thanks to the cute accessories, hahah. I got myself a set of plant-designed pick and another one with animal paws design. I also got myself an onigiri mold (triangle-shaped rice) so I could put some varieties on the menu.
Some tips, in case you want to prepare your lunchboxes:
I highly recommend that you check Just One Cookbook website. They have a great guide on how to pack a bento for beginners. I particularly loved this section where they break down the types of food you can put in your lunchbox, as it gives variety and ensures you have a balanced meal in your lunchbox.
Frozen food is your friend. It’s quick, time-saving, and mess-free. I always have chicken nuggets, cheesy chicken popcorns, and even frozen gyoza on my freezer so I can use them as a side dish.
Stock up on sauces and marinade spices. I usually get a pack of chicken fillets and marinate them with teriyaki sauce, or some marinade mixture (honey soy, lemon and garlic, etc.) You can even create your own marinade sauces using light soy sauce, oyster sauce, crushed garlic, and sesame oil in 1:1:1:1 portion.
Lettuce, cherry tomatoes, and cucumber are your friends. This is a really quick and easy salad. Lettuce gives the feeling of “full” and color inside the lunchbox, and tomatoes and cucumber combo is a perfect salad for anytime of the day. Broccoli is a good option, too, but I know not everyone enjoyed it.
I tried using the Indonesian language in my previous post, and I found myself feeling “stiff” on using it. I know, the irony, I’m an Indonesian and here I am, feeling uncomfortable using my own language. I know some Indonesians out there who would love to sling mud at me because of this.
Nevertheless, I feel English would be more helpful, in a sense that not only my friends from Automattic can still read this comfortably (hello!), but it also gives me a good outlet to practice my English writing. While I’m comfortable using English and can use the language just fine on a daily basis, nothing beats the practice of writing the language. As long as I can ignore these… squiggly underlines, courtesy of Grammarly. Thank you, Grammarly, for your service, but sometimes we need to drone on and on about mundane things. You would have a blast with the late Umberto Eco.
So! I’m back using English, hahah. Also, yesterday’s posts seemed helped me getting through the blogging funk and my memories dealing with users when I was still a Happiness Engineer. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my job as a Happiness Engineer, but some cases could be… A bit much. Those cases, unfortunately, somehow stuck with you more than those who didn’t. That said, I faced Site Editor bravely and even switched this blog’s themes to several classic themes such as Misty Lake. I love themes with sidebar, I can’t explain how much I love them. When I was in Automattic, I usually complained commented the lack of sidebar on our newly published themes, so when we finally had one, my teammates at that time (Jordan and Adeline) pinged me like crazy, “RETNO! WE HAVE SIDEBAR! WE HAVE SIDEBARRRR!”
I also checked Blogger because I mused on the probability of switching sides, and I found myself immensely disappointed. Say what you want about blogging, but for me, blogging is a niche. It used to be a trend, a fad when everyone and their uncles and dogs and cats had a blog, and now we don’t see the same gusto compared to, say, 10-15 years ago. The world itself still lives on, though. People still blog, and they do so with such commitment (5+ years assisting them here), but the lurking problem is the network. Remember blogring/webring? “Adopt a pixel”? “Trade blog links”? I know I do.
Blogger used to be so good at it. Heck, even WordPress.com used to do that, too. Folks could see newly published posts on the service’s homepage, or “Blog of the Month” posts, or “Blogs of Note”.
Look at it. Look how the community thrived and pulsated with new posts. No, the homepage was not minimalist or “professional” or “catered to businesses”. It was filled with texts, information, and news rivaling a PowerPoint presentation by a 100+++++-year-old Japanese company (trust me, I know. I used to do an internship with a Japanese company with a long history.) It was alive.
Now, I don’t think I can look at those services’ homepage without feeling anguish. That’s the least I could do. I usually screamed.
I checked Blogger using my GMail account, and I found myself confused: Say, I’m a new blogger and I wanted to start a blog. My first thought would be to find inspiration, but it’s really hard to find one in this social media, 140-character limit, and rage-inducing spaces. I hoped I could find and see some blogs out there, from the same service, so I know what to expect in terms of look and design, and perhaps follow them! New friends!
Nada. Zilch.
The things that I see on the screen are:
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… And blog posts from the Blogger team dated 4 years ago.
I clicked the linked “here” text, hoping that I could get some recommendations, but no. Again, only a:
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At least, at least, WordPress.com is doing better. You can find recommendations and discover new blogs on the Reader. Reader has always been one of, or perhaps THE ONE, my favorite elements on WordPress.com. Call me biased because I used to work there, but I haven’t seen similar service as Reader on other website hosts (I did check Hostinger, the host of this website, and they only have their company blog. The closest thing to “find new blog” is their client’s success stories.)
I’m not sure how Reader is being managed now. When I was still at Automattic, while the team was passionate and REALLY good at it (send your kudos to Dave Martin), I felt that the focus and the effort from the top levels outside the team were not intensive enough (cough cough, those who know me might realized that I tried to be as delicate and harmless as possible when saying it.) I hope this has changed. I really love Reader, I know some folks who have equal love for Reader — even more, and there is tons of potential there. I did see some improvements on the space, though, so that’s great.
That said, while we have the space, there is a concern about the quality of the content. I really like Stuart’s writing here: AI is going to replace me someday. With the risk of sounding “in the olden day”-vibe, the quality of our blog world is no longer there. We used to be so enthusiastic in building our communities because we knew those words were written by actual human beings. The posts were humane, alive, rich, and filled with emotions — real emotions. To create a community is to connect. The desire might be less now because we are not sure whether the posts published like a clockwork are from a living breathing human or from a freaking prompt. I also hate how people are side-eyeing actual correct grammars and punctuations, thinking those were AI works, like, EXCUSE ME, some of us actually studying, learning, and honing the craft. Who can forget that “a sure-sign of an AI work is when you see em dash on it ( — )”? That’s such an insult to the whole craft and profession. In summary: Finding a blog with well-written words from humans are such a gem. A gem, I tell you.
If I’m being honest, I have a room-temperature vibe with AI. Slightly closer to the boiling point, but still lower than a whistling kettlepot. I know its potential, I used ChatGPT to translate my comments from English to Chinese for connecting and communicating with folks on the Xiaohongshu app — I am now learning Chinese on Duolingo, BTW — but I also have my… thoughts on its generative nature. I always believe that the human arts will always triumph over everything. I mean, hey, AI won’t be able to generate those pictures, videos, and writings without stealing using the original works by actual human beings in the first place, right? 🤷
