It was last week, when my precise-as-clockwork period schedule suddenly missed for four days. At that time, there were three things on my mind:
Perimenopause, since I’m 40 years old already,
“IS THIS A CANCER?” — a very good reason why doctors all over the world discourage us to Google our symptoms, and…
Pregnancy, which, “I don’t think it’s possible? I suppose to be on perimenopause, no?”
Then again, I decided to do a test, just to eliminate one possibility — until I saw a faint second line.
It was midnight, and Ari already fast asleep, but he still got awoken when he heard my “huh?”
“What happened?”
“Is— is this a second line?”
“Huh,” he rubbed his eyes and squinted it with hope it could ward off the sleepiness, “I honestly not sure. How about we check it again tomorrow morning?”
In the morning, I tested again. I did found it weird when the pharmacy cashier insisted that I should take another test pack when I bought it the day before. “Buy one get one free,” she said, and when I said I only need one, she repeated her words: “Buy one get one free, ma’am.” Well, I did use both of the test packs.
“So, how was it?” Ari popped his head on the bathroom door.
“Is this a second line?”
“Huh. Let me see. I… think so? Do you want to get a USG scan?”
“Yeah. We can also check with a doctor. Let’s go to the clinic nearby our house before we go to the hospital.”
In the clinic, I told the doctor that I wanted to check if I’m, indeed, pregnant. The doctor listened, and said, “I know you have tested it yourself, but you aren’t sure. Let’s test it again here, and if the result is negative, we can do a scan.”
I agreed, and I took another test. We waited outside the doctor’s office for several minutes and when the doctor called us back, she pushed a pregnancy test and said: “Congratulations.”
“Is it—?”
“Yes. It’s more prevalent now. The line is clearer.”
I must admit, my first thought was fear. It’s not that I’m not happy about the pregnancy, it’s just that I’m so scared if I couldn’t provide for the baby. I mean, in this economy? In this kind of world??
Both Ari and I talked about it in depth. Also, yes, I used contraceptive (IUD), that was why the news was such a shock. We then decided to contact our obstetrician and inform her this news. I remember our obstetrician muttered, “but it’s 99% success rate.” I hear you, but sometimes the 1% can make the whole lot differences. She then pulled out the IUD because the procedure requires her to do so, and let us discussed our next steps.
Long story short, we decided to continue the pregnancy.
I just remembered I haven’t blogged anything about this. Not exactly forgotten about this, but I have been ruminating whether I should write about this or not because I don’t think I should as I don’t think I deserve anything about it, even the grief, and it has been going on for weeks and I ended up putting it on the back of my mind, but here we goes.
My dad passed away last month.
I said something about “undeserving of grief” because, if I can be honest, my relationship with my parents weren’t the greatest. So many coulda woulda shoulda, but in the end, it was a whole scorched-earth situation.
That said, if you are expecting this blog post to be something like grief, or apologizing, or similar to that, I must tell you that it might not going to be like that. Still so many shoulda woulda coulda, even worse after hearing stories from others and me ending up thinking, “then why not me? Why others deserved the kindness, but not me?”
Anyway.
Still, he was my dad, and there were some memories. Requiescat in pace.
I mentioned here that one of the things I wanted to do, and passed, is learning how to drive. I couldn’t drive, and there were times I wished I could. I remember when Rey was still a baby, and she got a fever. It was midnight, my husband was out of town for a business trip, and I didn’t know what to do. I pulled an all-nighter and took Rey to the hospital in the morning.
Late last year, I thought to myself, “here it is,” and decided to have a driving lesson. Ari and I passed this place several times, so we decided to contact them.
The process was quite smooth. The staff told me upfront that the payment would be different since I’m not a Malaysian, which, understandable. They also told me the necessary steps to apply for a driving license in Malaysia. In general, the steps are:
Attending a 6-hour in-class session (theory lessons),
Passed the theory test (you need 42 correct answers out of 50 questions) ,
Attending the driving lessons: 10 hours for lessons in the circuit, and 6 hours for lessons on the road.
Passed the Qualifying Test at the Institute (QTI) — someone told me that the QTI was added as part of the compulsory steps after an accident that involved a JPJ (Road Transport Department in Malaysia) staff member with a driving test attendee during the JPJ test (the final driving test.) After a series of investigations, the driving test attendee had just finished their driving lessons (5 days before) and immediately took the JPJ test. Considering the possible lack of technical skills, the government then decided for driving institutions in Malaysia to add another layer of complexity: QTI. This to ensure driving test attendees are actually qualified to attend the test and drive properly on the circuit and on the open road, be it for a test.
Last but not least, the final boss: Passed the JPJ test. During this test, JPJ staff will be there and grade our performance. Some people said that QTI was harder than the JPJ test because the evaluators are usually really rigid to ensure only those who actually can attend the test can pass, but some said that both are equally terrifying, hahah.
There was no problem on my end in attending the classes since I am now a housewife without time constraints during the daytime. I took the driving classes on weekdays, and I was pretty happy. Since it was during the weekdays, there were not a lot of folks practicing, so my instructor and I got the circuit for ourselves to practice. It was fun, though, seeing a lot of folks practicing to drive and seeing the cars moving slowly and carefully. My heart is happy seeing cars actually giving signs when they are going to turn or switch lanes, hahah.
Also, I got the chance to see the folks learning how to drive motorcycle there. The driving institute also offers driving license and lessons for other types of vehicles: Motorcycles, lorries, bus, even tractors! I was surprised when I learned that even three-wheels motorcycles (commonly used for differently-able folks and those who usually carry goods around) need a proper license.
It kinda amused me seeing the motorcycle-driving students paying attention to the traffic, even stopping and looking both ways several times when they are at a junction, while in reality, some people with motorcycles can be quite reckless. I really hope that with more people taking driving lessons like this, it will help us to build better traffic and road conditions.
I had a stumbling block when I had my JPJ test. I failed at the first time, in February, on the side parking/parallel parking section. While the car was in the allotted parking box, the side mirror was not. The JPJ staff informed me this and encouraged me to retake the exam. Which, I did. I took a repeat exam back in March, during the Ramadan month, so it was… Interesting. I didn’t fast at that time, but for some reasons, the intense pressure that commonly felt during Ramadan month (most moslems see the Ramadan month as our purgatory level anyway, hahah. It’s the month when we do our best in everything and work hard, which, can be felt even twice or thrice harder thanks to the dry fasting) and while I was able to pass the side parking section, I failed — again! — on the three-point turn! It was quite tricky as: 1. You only got one chance to make it right (compared to side parking when you got 5 minutes to park), 2. You only got three chances to stop/hit the brakes, and 3. No hitting/driving over the straight yellow lines.
“Frustrated” was the right word, yep. Everyone around me told me to keep my chin up and take a break since we approached Eid, and I should use the opportunity to keep learning. Ari helped me by taking me to empty parking areas in Putrajaya so I could practice on the weekends.
I had my (re)repeat exam yesterday, and I’m glad to share with you all that I passed! The driving instructors encouraged us to stay calm and drive slowly during the exam, and the JPJ staff also mentioned that they won’t be as strict as the first time, as they know we already have a certain level of driving skills, as we (re)practice after the previous failed tests.
I admit, I was so nervous when I approached the three-point turn, but I’m so glad I could make it smoothly. I kinda felt that the JPJ staff knew how nervous we were, so they decided to look away/pretend not to look when we did our three-point turn, hahah!
Now that I have passed the exam, I will need to go to the JPJ office to finish up my driving license application process in the next couple of days. As of now, I’m so happy I finally got the coveted P car stickers! P stickers on cars mean that the driver is new/just freshly passed the exam, so other drivers who are usually more experienced would know and take precautions when driving near these P drivers, hahah.
Yesterday, during lunchtime, I got a phone call from a person saying they were a third-party appointed by Maybank.
The gist is: An account owner on Maybank named Saleha binti Zakaria listed my number as their emergency contact number. The account is suspected of several suspicious transactions, and Saleha cannot be contacted, so this person, on behalf of Maybank, contacted me.
My gut said this is a scam. I don’t know any Saleha binti Zakaria in my life, I don’t have a Maybank account, and, well, overall, the whole thing reeks of a scammer.
I did entertain the conversation, though. I used broken Bahasa Melayu overlapped with English, most of the time I used English, and told the guy that I don’t know any Saleha and I don’t have a Maybank account. I told him: “If needed, I can just go to Maybank and check with them.”
The guy thanked me and ended the conversation. This is where I got the doubt: The conversation was too “civil” for a scam 😅 Like, wow, he was really polite as a scammer lor, hahah. But then again, I think this is a scam. I checked the phone number on Truecall, and the number returned as the number of a teacher/principal (?) of a middle school. I highly doubt this guy is the person who called just now; perhaps number masking? Is it possible to do number masking on a personal phone number? I also haven’t contacting MCMC (Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission) to report the number because what if the number is actually legit and the scammer using some sort of number masking effort.
Anyway! I posted my experience on the subreddit r/malaysia here, under the mega post on commonly known scam tactics in Malaysia. Stay safe, folks! In case you suspect you got scammed or receive scam phone calls, you can report them by following the guide provided here.
For the past week, I have been preparing lunchboxes for my husband and kids. My husband usually bought his lunch at a shopping area near his office, and the kids had their lunch provided by the school canteen with a monthly fee. Things were okay-ish (or so I thought) until several weeks ago, the youngest came home and remarked how hungry she is.
“Didn’t you get your lunch already at school?” I asked, as she opened the fridge for the dozen times. “I did,” she eyed some sliced bread but shook her head, “I had the chocolate sandwich you brought me this morning for lunch.”
“Wait. What? That’s not for lunch, that’s for breakfast!”
I usually pack them “lunchboxes”, or specifically, “breakfastboxes”, since they have to go to school quite early in the morning. It is usually filled with a chocolate sandwich (toast with chocolate sprinkles/hagelslag — fun fact, in Indonesia, hagelslag is called muisjes, and yes, I’m aware that such a dish, especially as a breakfast menu, might be strange for a lot of folks, but it’s really common among Indonesians and the Dutch), some fruits, and some sweets/snacks. Then, this 8-year old looked at me and said that she ate them for lunch.
“No wonder you got so hungry! Those are for breakfast, and not as fulfilling as lunch meals!” I told her she could go to the nearby convenience store to get herself some sausage bun and milk.
Since then, I got curious. I asked both my kids on what they think of the school canteen’s food. My son commented that while the food is generally okay-ish, it didn’t suit his tastebuds much. His words: “It was not as spicy as I would like.” Mind you, this is a teenager who inhaled Buldak sauce and sambal terasi.
“… … … Of course it’s not spicy. The canteen must cater the food for all children of all ages and nationalities and cultures!”
My husband and I suggested that he bring a pack of sambal to school, even a whole bottle of it, so he could reclaim the title Sambal Boi, but he quickly dismissed it.
My daughter, while she enjoyed the canteen’s meal quite much (her preferences on spicy level are not as high as her brother’s), admitted that the meals can be quite… Normal.
That’s when I decided to prepare them breakfastboxes and lunchboxes. I also hoped that by preparing their lunchboxes, I could increase the veggie portions in my son’s daily meals.
Some days, I even made different menus for my kids and my husband. My husband decided to join in, and commented, “I like bringing lunchbox, because I don’t have to think what to eat for lunch and I don’t have to queue, hahah.”
Below is my magnum opus. The kids wanted to have (instant! Gasp! the horror!) mac n’ cheese, so I cooked an entirely different meal, Indonesian-style, for my husband. “Cooked” miiiiight be an exaggeration because the side dishes were pre-made, hahah. The only “cooking” I did was the rice, and it was using a rice cooker, and the chicken nuggest for the kids using the air fryer. For the breakfastbox, I packed them mini pancakes and sliced fruits along with chocolate sauce.
Preparing breakfast/lunchboxes can be tiring. I usually wake up at 5 AM to prepare everything and finish it by 6 AM. That said, I found joy in preparing it thanks to the cute accessories, hahah. I got myself a set of plant-designed pick and another one with animal paws design. I also got myself an onigiri mold (triangle-shaped rice) so I could put some varieties on the menu.
Some tips, in case you want to prepare your lunchboxes:
I highly recommend that you check Just One Cookbook website. They have a great guide on how to pack a bento for beginners. I particularly loved this section where they break down the types of food you can put in your lunchbox, as it gives variety and ensures you have a balanced meal in your lunchbox.
Frozen food is your friend. It’s quick, time-saving, and mess-free. I always have chicken nuggets, cheesy chicken popcorns, and even frozen gyoza on my freezer so I can use them as a side dish.
Stock up on sauces and marinade spices. I usually get a pack of chicken fillets and marinate them with teriyaki sauce, or some marinade mixture (honey soy, lemon and garlic, etc.) You can even create your own marinade sauces using light soy sauce, oyster sauce, crushed garlic, and sesame oil in 1:1:1:1 portion.
Lettuce, cherry tomatoes, and cucumber are your friends. This is a really quick and easy salad. Lettuce gives the feeling of “full” and color inside the lunchbox, and tomatoes and cucumber combo is a perfect salad for anytime of the day. Broccoli is a good option, too, but I know not everyone enjoyed it.
