coriander in pho

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  • On being a partner in a relationship

    On being a partner in a relationship

    Yesterday, we were on a car to get the kids to school when the radio DJs chatted about relationships. One of them mentioned about this person that has been worrying about her new relationship with a guy. This person, a girl, said that the guy she’s currently dating is her second time. She worries that she can’t be a good partner because she feels she’s lacking in experience in dating.

    I found that discussion seeped into my mind more than I thought (I would blame my pre-coffee brain at that time,) and I feel… You don’t have to have a lot of dating experiences to be a better partner, no? ?

    One of the DJs pointed out a really good case. “The downside of having a lot of exes is the emotional baggage, man. When I meet my boyfriend, then-husband, I got A LOT of emotional baggages and issues that I have to fix first!”

    I also not agreeing with the concept of “dating as an exercise”. It makes it sounds like a sport or academic exercise, and that’s… Weird. In a relationship, you are not in a static mode. You constantly learn and grow, and as helpful and kind your partner is or will be, it does not mean you see them as a sparring partner or someone that’s responsible of your growth.

    I have several exes and flings, yes, and I don’t think I’m a better person when I met my boyfriend-then-husband when we started dating. I might be an even worse person at that time. Had I had more exes, will it make me a better person and a better partner? I highly doubt it.

    I personally feel that to be a better partner, one needs to be a better person for themselves first. This will sound so “LOOK INTO YOUR HEART”-motivational speech thingy, but that’s what I learned so far. The number of past relationship that someone has does not define whether they are a good partner or not. For some, it might be seen as “experience,” yes. For some, it might be seen as “player”. In the end, it’s a lose-lose situation. I can imagine someone with a lot of exes is seen as a player, and one without is seen as n00b ?

    To be a better partner, one needs to understand the concept of consent, respect, humility, sense of humor, responsibility, and many more. All that can be learned from many ways, not necessarily from romantic relationship alone. It can be learned from relationship within the family, friendship, work environment, and even strangers we meet on the streets. Having past relationships that didn’t work would be one of the lessons, but never make it be the ultimate lesson.

  • 🔖 The Melanau Gateway

    🔖 The Melanau Gateway

    I just found something really cool:

    https://melanaugateway.wordpress.com/

    I came across this website when I scrolled my FYP Tiktok and I watched this video where Aniq, the Tiktoker and the website owner, expressed his goal to build a culture and information hub for Melanau tribe.

    From the website:

    Melanau is an Austronesian language native to Borneo. It is a language comprised of many sub-dialects under the North Bornean language family group.

    https://melanaugateway.wordpress.com/language/

    I feel this is really cool. The website’s goal is to provide everything about Melanau and to build a cultural hub for Melanau folks. I would say, hosting it on wordpress.com is definitely a bonus ?

    Do give it a visit and explore everything Melanau! Also, if you are a Melanau, feel free to share your stories!

    The featured image is taken from Wikimedia.

  • Symphonic Anime by Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra

    Symphonic Anime by Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra

    Anime songs/soundtracks are nothing new for orchestra. Joe Hisaishi is one of the maestros of orchestra and he has been delivering tons of fans’ favorites, most notably from Studio Ghibli’s movies.

    Performing anime songs is part of MPO (Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra) routines and it’s quick becoming the most-awaited events. Tickets tend to sold out in a matter of minutes, and the orchestra even had to add more showtime to accomodate fans’ requests. I personally feel this is really awesome, as general public sometimes still think orchestra is something ultra serious and “respected” while MPO actually just… Chill out with the audience and even wearing Kaonashi (No Face) costume from Studio Ghibli’s “Sen to Chihiro” (Spirited Away).

    This concert was not our first time, although it was the first orchestra for Rey. Our first MPO performance was “Ratatouille in Concert” (yes, THAT Disney Pixar “Ratatouille”) back in 2016 with Gerard Salonga as the conductor. You might be wondering how MPO allows children in the venue; it’s part of their program! The orchestra has a Family Day program regularly. One of the orchestra’s missions is to introduce the orchestra and music to the public, and they provide Family Day for child-friendly shows.

    Also! Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra performed “Bella Ciao” with Yuna for Netflix’s “Money Heist”. I MEAN— YUNA, MY QUEEN.

    Anyway! We enjoyed the concert so very much! I really love how Naohisa Furusawa-sensei, the conductor, brought up the energy and the passion from the anime shows to the music. Furusawa-sensei even shared with the audience his memory of reading Shonen Jump! magazine when he was in junior high school and mentioned fondly of how Ultraman Seven was his childhood hero — and yes, the orchestra performed songs from Ultraman Seven!

    The performance was closed with “Guren no Yumiya” from “Attack of Titan” (Shingeki no Kyouji ) and the venue was filled with thunderous applause. Wira mentioned how he wanted to watch anime as soon as we arrived home ? (he has been watching “Beyblade” and “Spy x Family” on Netflix.)

    When you are in Kuala Lumpur, do give Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra a visit!

    With the staff. They are wearing costumes too! So fun!
  • Expressive Architecture Sketching with Colored Marker

    Expressive Architecture Sketching with Colored Marker

    That’s the name of the course I’m currently taking.

    I never really thought of pursuing my hobby in drawing in a more serious sense. I used to think that I can just be content with what I have now.

    But a chat with a coach changed my mind. We chatted “the life after Automattic”, and I realized that I didn’t have something that I actually really proud of. I know I can draw, but do I know how to draw?

    I then thought about activities I can do, and one of them is taking online courses. I always thought that online courses will take weeks with intensive lessons, until I checked Domestika and decided to see what’s up.

    I stumbled on the course “Expressive Architecture Sketching with Colored Marker” with Albert Kiefer (his Instagram account is “housesketcher”) and I decided to give it a try.

    Urban sketching has been a thing that I wanted to be good at, but no matter how I tried, I always felt that disappointed pang whenever I see the results.

    Throughout the lessons, Albert keeps focusing on one thing: The courage to just… do. Just pull a line, who cares whether it’s wonky or straight. Just make the first floor smaller, it’s cute. Imagine a story, perhaps these two buildings are fighting with each other.

    Be courageous.

    This is not a sponsored post and I don’t receive anything neither from Domestika or Albert. I simply love the courses and Albert is awesome and a terrific teacher. If you would like to give it a try, feel free to check it out here: Expressive Architecture Sketching with Colored Marker

  • Kuala Lumpur Car-Free Morning

    Kuala Lumpur Car-Free Morning

    A nice morning walk with Pokemon Go and roti canai at mamak.

    For folks who are planning to visit Malaysia/tourists: In this video, no-one is wearing mask (us included) because we are outdoors and we are doing sports activities. Please note, mask is MANDATORY for indoors area, especially public area.

  • Seasonal dishes

    Seasonal dishes

    My friend, an American-Korean, asked me: “Do you (Indonesians and Malaysians) have cold dishes, like cold noodles? Or dishes that’s specific for summer?”

    I said no, we don’t have it. Then I realized, yes, we do not have such dishes.

    Also, we don’t assign dishes based on seasons. I guess, it’s because we are in the tropics where the seasons and the weather fairly constant all year long. There are dishes based from seasonal fruits, though.

    I guess that’s the perk, yeah? And perhaps, we have hot dishes even when it’s hot outside just so we will get sweaty after eating and the breeze will cool us down ?

    I had bi bim guk su (spicy Korean cold wheat noodles) for lunch, and it’s pretty refreshing. Even though cold noodles usually available in Japan and Korea during summertime, it’s available all-year long here in Kuala Lumpur.

    It also reminds me when my friend once commented that “it smells like winter,” when she whiffed a scent of cinnamon.

    How about you? Do you have seasonal dishes in your country?

  • On tracking our progress

    On tracking our progress

    I used to have an Apple Watch, until I gave it to my son along with my old iPhone.

    I found myself not suitable for wearing Apple Watch — note the wording and the sentence there. In fact, I don’t think I can wear wristwatch ? My skin will get itchy really fast, and it will bleed due to me scratching it.

    Another reason is, I hate to track things. It’s like… Instead of feeling motivated, I would see myself as a failure if I couldn’t keep the streak. Oh, I missed one day? That’s it. I don’t want to continue.

    However, tracking things is important. It shows progress, discipline, and determination. How do you all track your progress?

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